Diamonds Are Without end is the ultimate look of Sean Connery as James Bond in an official, Eon-productions-sanctioned movie. He would, in fact, seem within the “rogue” Bond movie By no means Say By no means Once more in 1983, however then, as now, the issue together with his portrayal was Connery was getting slightly bit long-in-the-tooth to be believably bedding a number of girls and saving the world, all whereas swilling vodka martinis and driving sports activities automobiles. Connery was, nevertheless, well-compensated for this movie, receiving $1.25 million, a record-breaking sum on the time and making him the most effective paid actor ever for a single movie.

Bond Binge: Diamonds Are Forever - Connery is Back! But at what cost?
Authentic Poster for Diamonds Are Without end. Picture Courtesy MGM.

However as Connery exhibits up within the opening scenes, murdering folks left and proper and demanding to know the place Blofeld is, time has not been sort. Regardless of solely being a number of years away from the franchise, Connery appears previous. Nonetheless, he manages to take revenge on Blofeld, killing him for the homicide of Bond’s spouse on the finish of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, and returns to MI-6.

However his new project is comparatively mundane: examine the disappearance of some diamonds. We’re launched to employed assassins Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint who’re tasked with tying up all of the unfastened ends of the chain of custody of the stolen diamonds. And the path ultimately leads from Amsterdam to Las Vegas and the resort/on line casino owned by reclusive tycoon Willard Whyte, performed by future sausage magnate Jimmy Dean. That is all a entrance, as the actual Whyte has been kidnapped and changed by, of all folks, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, this time portrayed by Charles Grey.

Bond Binge: Diamonds Are Forever - Connery is Back! But at what cost?
Charles Grey as Blofeld in Diamonds are Without end. Picture courtesy MGM.

His change in look is, as soon as once more, defined by in depth cosmetic surgery. And the “Blofeld” Bond killed within the opening minutes of the film? A intelligent decoy, one in all dozens of Blofeld doubles. However the actual Blofeld has hijacked a cargo of diamonds and brought over Willard Whyte’s companies to make use of the sparkly gems to show a satellite tv for pc right into a nuclear deterrent. He’ll public sale off the suitable to unique use of nuclear weapons and use his satellite tv for pc to destroy the nuclear stockpiles of all different international locations.

Bond and diamond smuggler Tiffani Case (Jill St. John) rescue the actual Whyte from attractive bodyguards Bambi and Thumper. They then lead an operation in opposition to Blofeld’s base on an oil rig off of Baja California, Mexico and handle to save lots of the day. All in all, not a nasty outing for Bond.

The issue is that this movie launched so lots of the campy parts that may change into hallmarks of the franchise for the following decade. Bond rides a dune buggy to flee from some henchmen within the silliest chase scenes within the sequence so far. The movie goes to the circus for the primary of many outings (producer Harry Saltzman had grown up within the circus and gotten his begin in Hollywood making circus-themed motion pictures).

Bond Binge: Diamonds Are Forever - Connery is Back! But at what cost?
Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint and Bambi and Thumper in Diamonds are Without end. Pictures courtesy MGM.

Bambi and Thumper are little greater than an excuse for “attractive combating” and a few T&A with skimpy outfits. And Kidd and Wint appear extra curious about making small speak and puns than being critical assassins. (The movie additionally appears to suggest however not say they’re homosexual lovers, a tragic act of queer erasure, even on the time.) If Bond motion pictures are outlined by their facet characters, it is a waste of potential.

And never that Bond ladies actually ever have an enormous quantity of character growth, however on this movie it is much more flimsy than standard. Jill St. John does positive as Tiffani Case however simply is not given a lot to do. The “first woman” Loads O’Toole (Lana Wooden) is a case examine in fridging and violence in direction of girls. Actually simply within the film as eye sweet, she is tossed out the window of a resort right into a pool, which the dangerous guys point out they did not know was there, earlier than being murdered and left floating in a pool as a warning signal to Bond. It additionally provides the franchise one other likelihood to double down on the creepy obsession with mixing intercourse and loss of life.

However as Bond movies go? This is not the worst. Nevertheless it actually is not the most effective. It was good to have Connery again for an additional go, nevertheless it’s nearly extra necessary as a reminder that it was previous time for him to go away the position within the first place. And that any issues the movies had didn’t stem from who was being solid as James Bond.

For the earlier 007 Bond binges take a look at the field under.

This submit is a part of a multi-part sequence: 007 Bond Binge.

About Andy Wilson

A light mannered digital strategist working for an environmental nonprofit in Austin, TX roaming the interwebs combating his nemeses by day, and by night time consuming all method of media. You’ll find him both on his sofa or on the nearest Alamo Drafthouse catching the newest. Do not observe him on Twitter @CitizenAndy.

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