Warning: these songs haven’t been bowdlerised, i.e. the
robust language as utilized by the troopers for a few of the songs has
been retained. If you’re offended by such language, it’s
recommended that you simply learn no additional.

NB. there are quite a few variations on these
songs. Some have been taken up by troopers in later wars and reworded
accordingly. See R. Palmer ‘What a stunning warfare!’: British Troopers’ Songs (Joseph, 1990).
This was additionally the supply for the variations of a lot of the songs
given under.

The Songs

‘It is a lengthy method to
Tipperary’

It is a lengthy method to Tipperary, it is a lengthy method to go.

It is a lengthy method to Tipperary, to the sweetest lady I
know.

Goodbye, Piccadilly,

Farewell Leicester Sq..

It is a lengthy lengthy method to Tipperary, however my coronary heart’s proper
there.

‘Bombed final night time’

Bombed final night time, and bombed the night time earlier than.

Going to get bombed tonight if we by no means get bombed
anymore.

Once we’re bombed, we’re scared as we may be.

Cannot cease the bombing from previous Increased Germany.


They’re warning us, they’re warning us.

One shell gap for simply the 4 of us.

Thank your fortunate stars there aren’t any extra of us.

So considered one of us can fill it on their lonesome.


Gassed final night time, and gassed the night time earlier than.

Going to get gassed tonight if we by no means get gassed
anymore.

Once we’re gassed, we’re sick as we may be.

For phosgene and mustard fuel is way an excessive amount of for me.


They’re killing us, they’re killing us.

One respirator for the 4 of us.

Thank your fortunate stars that we are able to all run quick.

So considered one of us can take it on their lonesome.

‘Goodbye-ee’

Brother Bertie went away, to do his bit the opposite day.

With a smile on his lips and his lieutenant pips upon his
shoulder vibrant and homosexual.

Because the prepare moved out he stated: ‘Keep in mind me to all of the
ladies’

After which he wagged his paw and went away to warfare shouting out
these pathetic phrases:


‘Goodbye-ee, good-bye-ee, wipe the tears, child pricey, from
your eye-ee.

Although it is laborious to half I do know, I will be tickled to dying to
go.

Do not cry-ee, do not sigh-ee, there is a silver lining within the
sky-ee.

Bonsiour previous factor, cheerio chin-chin, napoo, toodle-oo, good-bye- ee.’

[napoo = nothing, all gone.]

‘By no means Thoughts’

Tune: By no means Thoughts

If the sergeant drinks your rum, by no means thoughts

And your face could lose its smile, by no means thoughts

He is entitled to a tot however not the bleeding lot

If the sergeant drinks your rum, by no means thoughts


When previous Jerry shells your trench, by no means thoughts

And your face could lose its smile, by no means thoughts

Although the sandbags bust and fly you might have solely as soon as to
die,

If previous Jerry shells the ditch, by no means thoughts


In the event you get caught on the wire, by no means thoughts

And your face could lose its smile, by no means thoughts

Although you are caught there all of the day, they rely you useless and
cease your pay

In the event you get caught on the wire, by no means thoughts


If the sergeant says your mad, by no means thoughts

P’raps you’re a little bit, by no means thoughts

Simply be calm do not reply again, trigger the sergeant stands no
slack

So if he says you are mad, properly – you might be.

Parody of:

Although your coronary heart could ache some time, by no means thoughts

Although your face could lose its smile, by no means thoughts

For there’s sunshine after rain, and the gladness follows
ache.

You may be comfortable as soon as once more, by no means thoughts

‘Three German Officers crossed the
Rhine’

Tune: ‘Mademoiselle from Armentieres’

Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous

Three German Officers crossed the Rhine, parlez-vous

Three German Officers crossed the Rhine

To fuck the ladies and drink the wine,


(Refrain) Inky-dinky parlez-vous


They got here to the door of a wayside Inn, parlez-vous

Pissed on the mat and walked proper in, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


‘Oh landlord have you ever a daughter truthful?’, parlez-vous

‘With lily-white tits and golden hair?’, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


‘My solely daughter’s far too younger’, parlez-vous

‘To be fucked by you, you bastard hun’, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


‘Oh father pricey I am not too younger’ parlez-vous

‘I’ve simply been fucked by the blacksmith’s son’,
parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


Ultimately they received her on the mattress, parlez-vous

And shagged her ’til her cheeks have been purple, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


They took her down a shady lane, parlez-vous

And shagged her again to life once more, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


After which they took her to a mattress, parlez-vous

And shagged her til she was practically useless, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


They shagged her up they shagged her down, parlez-vous

They shagged her throughout the city, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


They shagged her in they shagged her out, parlez-vous

They shagged her up her water-spout, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


Now seven months later all was properly, parlez-vous

Eight months later she started to swell, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


9 months later she gave a grunt, parlez-vous

And a bit of fats Prussian popped out her cunt,
parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


The fats little Prussian he grew and grew, parlez-vous

He fucked the cat and the donkey too, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)


The fats little Prussian he went to hell, parlez-vous

He fucked the satan and his spouse as properly, parlez-vous
(Repeat)


(Refrain)

‘Hanging on the Outdated Barbed
Wire’

If you wish to discover the lance-jack, I do know the place he’s

I do know the place he’s, I do know the place he’s

If you wish to discover the lance-jack, I do know the place he’s

He is scrounging around the cookhouse door.

I’ve seen him, I’ve seen him

Scrounging around the cookhouse door, I’ve seen him,

Scrounging around the cookhouse door.


The corporate sergeant…He is laying on the latrine ground


The quarter grasp…Miles and miles behind the strains.


The sergeant-major…Thieving all of the infantrymen’ rum.


The buckshee personal…Buried in a deep shell gap.


The C.O….Down in a deep dugout.


The brasshats…Ingesting claret at Brigade HQ.


The politicians….Ingesting brandy on the Home of Commons
bar.


The entire battalion…Hanging on the previous barbed wire.

‘I wore a Tunic’

Tune: ‘I wore a Tulip’

I wore a tunic, a awful khaki tunic,

And also you wore your civvy garments.

We fought and bled at Loos

When you have been dwelling on the booze

The booze that nobody right here is aware of.

Oh you have been with the wenches

Whereas we have been within the trenches

Dealing with an indignant foe.

Oh you have been a-slacking

Whereas we have been attacking

The Jerry on the Menin Street.

‘Outdated Joe Whip’

Tune: ‘Casey Jones’ (Refrain)

Outdated Joe Whip, mounted on the parapet

Outdated Joe Whip, a Mills bomb in his hand,

Outdated Joe Whip, he stopped a blooming whizzbang,

Now he is a bomber within the promised land.

[Whizzbang = light shell,
sounded as it came towards you like ‘whizz’ and then ‘bang’]

‘Hush, right here comes a
Whizzbang’

Hush, right here comes a Whizzbang.

Hush, right here comes a Whizzbang.

Now you soldiermen get down these stairs,

Down in your dugouts and say your prayers.

Hush, right here comes a Whizzbang,

And it is making best for you.

And you may see all of the wonders of No-Man’s-Land,

If a Whizzbang, hits you.

‘When this awful warfare is
over’

Tune: ‘What a Buddy now we have in Jesus’

When this awful warfare is over no extra soldiering for me,

After I get my civvy garments on, oh how comfortable I shall be.

No extra church parades on Sunday, no extra begging for a
go.

You may inform the sergeant-major to stay his passes up his
arse.


(Repeat first two strains of first verse)

No extra NCOs to curse me, no extra rotten military stew.

You may inform the previous cook-sergeant, to stay his stew proper up
his flue.


(Repeat first two strains of first verse)

No extra sergeants bawling, ‘Decide it up’ and ‘Put it down’

If I meet the ugly bastard I am going to kick his arse throughout city

‘Whiter than the
Whitewash’

Whiter than the whitewash on the wall!

Whiter than the whitewash on the wall!

Oh wash me within the water that you simply wash your soiled daughter
in,

In order that I may be whiter than the whitewash on the wall!

On the wall, on the wall, On the wall, on the wall,

Oh wash me within the water that you simply wash your soiled daughter
in,

In order that I may be whiter than the whitewash on the wall!

‘Oh it is a pretty warfare!’

As much as your waist in water, as much as your eyes in slush,

utilizing the form of language that makes the sergeant blush,

Who would not be part of the military? That is what all of us enquire.

Do not we pity the poor civilian sitting by the hearth.


(Refrain)

Oh, oh, oh it is a pretty warfare.

Who would not be a soldier, eh? Oh it is a disgrace to take the
pay.

As quickly as reveille has gone we really feel simply as heavy as
lead,

however we by no means stand up until the sergeant brings our breakfast up
to mattress.

Oh, oh, oh, it is a pretty warfare.

what do we would like with eggs and ham once we’ve received plum and apple
jam?

Type fours. Proper flip. How we could spend the cash we
earn?

Oh, oh, oh it is a pretty warfare.


When does a soldier grumble? When does he make a fuss?

Nobody is extra contented in all of the world than us.

Oh it is a comfortable life, boys, actually we adore it so:

As soon as a fellow was despatched on go away and easily refused to go.
(Refrain)


Come to the cookhouse door, boys, sniff the stunning
stew.

Who’s it says the colonel will get higher grub than you?

Any complaints this morning? Can we complain? Not we.

What is the matter with lumps of onion floating across the
tea?
(Refrain)

‘The Bells of Hell’

The Bells of Hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling, for you however not for
me.

And the little devils have a sing-a-ling-a-ling, for you however
not for me.

Oh dying the place is that they sting-a-ling-a-ling, oh grave thy
victory?

The Bells of Hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling, for you however not for
me.

‘I need to go dwelling’

I need to go dwelling, I need to go dwelling.

I do not need to go within the trenches no extra,

The place whizzbangs and shrapnel they whistle and roar.

Take me over the see, the place the Alleyman
cannot get at me.

Oh my, I do not need to die, I need to go dwelling.


I need to go dwelling, I need to go dwelling.

I do not need to go to la Belle France no extra,

For oh the Jack Johnsons they make such a
roar.

Take me over the ocean, the place the snipers they cannot get at
me.

Oh my, I do not need to die, I need to go dwelling.

[Alleyman =
German (from Fr. Allemagne)]

[Jack Johnson =
heavy shell (from a boxer of the same name)]

‘Far, removed from Wipers’

Far, removed from Wipers I lengthy to
be.

The place German snipers cannot get at me.

Darkish is my dugout, chilly are my toes.

Ready for Whizzbangs to ship me to sleep.

[Wipers =
Ypres]

‘I do not need to be part of the
Military’

Tune: ‘On Sunday I stroll out with a
soldier’

I do not need to be part of the military,

I do not need to go to warfare.

I would moderately grasp round Piccadilly underground,

Residing off the earnings of a girl typist.

I do not need a bayonet in my stomach,

I do not need my bollocks shot away.

I would moderately keep in England, in merry merry England,

And fornicate this bleeding life away.

‘We’re Fred Karno’s military’

Tune: ‘The Church’s One Basis’

We’re Fred Karno’s military, we’re the
ragtime infantry.

We can’t combat, we can’t shoot, what bleeding use are
we?

And once we get to Berlin we’ll hear the Kaiser say,

‘Hoch, hoch! Mein Gott, what a bloody rotten lot, are the
ragtime infantry’

[Fred Karno =
a comedian of the time, sometimes replced with ‘in
Kitchener’s’]



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